ARTIST IN SOHO

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NO ONE TO BLAME BUT...

What started as something petty became an obsession. I would take it all too far, but how far was too far? Without this imposed identity i couldn't maintain focus or direction. It would just fall apart. I'd been doing this too long, we all had.

I was more combfortable assuming the roles and characters of somebody else, somebody to who the consequences were insignificant if the feel of the moment was suficiantly inticing as to play to mine or other's fantasy. I wouls have dreams and create sequals. Acting upon impulse and possibility of prolonging the feeling this was inducing. People around me seem captivated by my audacity and intensity, joining in even...

I could insinuate anything! People had a willinest to beleive in the extra-ordinary and fantastic. It became easy. They thought it was their idea at first, some were harder to convince than others but they soon concided, they came to rely on it.

Myself included.

CALL THE DOCTOR

I can't make them understand the evil the evil men do. Every scheme they make is based on hate, speed freaks in a frenzy on a park bench, plotting ways of just trying to get their feet through the door, before they fight a war, consummated by misuse and abuse of their chemical tactics, back you against the wall, do what they want just 'cause they can do, crush your skull as they step over you, they're sick!

Drag you down after each success, you wouldn't believe the things they say about you behind your back. If you gain any ground, they're going to trip you up, if you achieve, they want to test your luck, take what they can with both hands, make it all seem like a wasted plan, waste of time, it all seems like a wasted rhyme, blind side your mind to this truth of mine, ruthless demons who will lie to your face and won't see that you've got a future, another day just trying to make things seem a little better, whatever, while they smear your name and ruin your fortunes, throw you across the room and torture you to no conclusion, no trace left behind, no resolution.

THE NIGHTMARE BEGINS...

Let's be realistic for a second and stop second guessing.

They are prepared to do worse things than you can imagine to you given the chance, and they will take it, no hesitation, while you rest they plot against me, and no one will believe a word of it, they can't help, you've been discredited and silenced by misinformation and the threat of violence and nobody will come clean now, it's too late.

Casing the joint, quite literally, evade all blame, no shame or regret is apparent as they walk free of the guilt they should feel, it's unreal, it's just a dream and I can't prove a thing, to my misery, you believe what you want to believe.

Knowing what they will do, I've got to get out of here, nothing will happen if I stay, if it hasn't happened by now, but that's just a lie, and you know it, plenty has happened and it's just set things up for more bad things to happen. Eventually it will all catch up with me; As it all comes back to me. Each will judge me according to their discretion of the knowledge in their possession and deal with me accordingly.